8 Things Happy Couples Do Daily

Couple

There was a time when two of you were living in an altogether different world, a world which was painted red with love, a world of prince charming and princess beautiful. But after some time reality start taking it’s toll and you need to be conscious about cultivating a healthy and happy relation. Actually the real relationship begins once the honeymoon is over. After a time of fairy tales you need to develop the coping skills to make your relation a happily ever after thing.

As a gardener works hard to keep his garden beautiful and free from weeds, so are you required to work hard on your relation. If left untended your relation will be overgrown by the weeds of unhealthy feelings and thoughts. Keep in mind that happiness is not dependent on the circumstances rather it is a choice. Learn to choose to react to trying situations wisely, understand what are the valuable things in your life and focus on the positives of your partner. Always keep in mind the good things about each other that brought you closer in the first place.

Remember that usually it is not the big things, but the little gestures and things that we do everyday that affects the quality of our relation, the most. We list here some of the most important daily habits of happy couples:

1. Communicate Regularly

Any relationship that gets even a hint of misunderstanding will start getting unhealthy, regular communication between couples develop a unique bond between them. With a conversation going on between you two, there is no chance left for any kind of misunderstanding and remember that if you have any apprehension, a better approach is to straight forwardly ask your partner about it.

Discuss your daily activities to grow intimacy. Appreciate the positives of your partner while leaving the negatives behind. Having a real conversation is a big stress buster after a hectic day which washes out your anxiety and makes you happy.

2. Grow Common Interests

It is a very natural tendency that after the initial phase of relationship passion will settle down. To maintain your excitement for each other it is vital that you develop some common interests. It is true that you are two different individuals who have their own likes and dislikes and this diversity provide a strength of it’s own to the relation. But you will be very happy when you share between you some common interests.

Enjoy each other’s company. Simple daily activities like cooking together or gardening will give you bonding time. Go on relaxing walks that give you time to communicate while sharing your interests.

3. Spend Some Time Together

This one is a no-brainer. Spend maximum time together, but as that is not very practically possible in today’s hectic lifestyle, make it a point to spend at least an hour daily in each other’s company. Go to movies or may be long drives to spend some quality time together. Even when you don’t have enough time at hand you can convert small simple things like grocery buying into a kind of personal time. Go out for lunch or dinner and save your cooking time and convert it into a date.

4. Go Physical

Sex is a connection that you share with your partner and that sure makes bond strong, but to go physical does not always necessarily means to have sex. It also means simple things like to go to bed at same time; to give innocent non sexual hugs and kisses and to hold hands like it was the first time you met. When we hug each other, there is release of ‘feel good’ hormone dopamine and ‘happy’ hormones serotonin and oxytocin. These neurotransmitters deeply relaxes you and also increase your bonding. Another health benefit of these is their positive effect on sleep-wake cycle and lowering sensitivity to pain.

5. Express Yourself

There is no doubt that it is vital to have honesty and love in your relation, but it is equally important to express those feelings to your partner. Never be miser in saying those three magic words ‘I Love You’. Most couples after the initial phase start taking their relationship for granted and it may cause loss of warmth in the relation though in their heart they still feel same as before. Keep in mind that until you express yourself nobody will understand you.

Related article: 9 Most Powerful Positive Emotions

6. Have A Sense Of Humor

Nobody wants to live in a serious relation. To have a sense of humor, could go on to be a big asset in taking your relationship to another level of happiness. It is a proven fact that cracking jokes can have a positive impact on your physical as well as emotional health. Laughing together increases love and bonding.

7. Say No To Distractions

When you are together make that time count by avoiding any kind of distractions specially those caused by social media or TV. Make a habit that when together, you will switch off your devices and give each other undivided attention.

8. Plan Your Future Together

Happy couples have optimism working for them. They understand that planning together makes bonds stronger. Understand that your relationship is built when you are together as one. Plan all aspects of your life whether it be having children, your career or buying a new house together, get your team work going. More you plan for future, more you grow in togetherness, trust, love and happiness.

 

Happy couples understand the basic that small gestures make big impact. It is not the pricier things but the valuable ones that provide happiness. With good understanding of their differences, they know how to balance their relation for common good.

Keep in mind that life is like a river and you will be at it’s mercy if you don’t steer towards the direction you want. For fulfillment in life you need to have happy relations and those will not be automatic, you need to work on them, feed them daily with these practices and you will be good to write your own story.

Eliminate Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions

What drives you? Have you ever given a thought on this? I believe our emotions are the primary driving force behind our behavior. Our feelings decide how we conduct ourselves, because depending on the most dominant emotions we are experiencing, our energy surges or diminishes. The same person who is overflowing with abundant energy due to positive emotions can be devoid of energy and drive when under the influence of negative emotions.

We are what we think and with our thinking we make our world, so in order to make our life beautiful, it is imperative that we develop positive thinking. Though all kinds of thoughts can take birth, we can train our brains to let only positive thoughts and emotions to take root. For increasing the quality of your life make conscious efforts to nip in bud the following negative emotions:

1. Fear

Fear is a very common emotion and can range from a less intense feeling of panic to dread to very intense terror. Fear in itself is a survival technique employed by the brain to avoid anticipated unpleasant situations. This is very much required feeling to prevent people from getting into dangerous situations and potential harm. It gives an indication to us to be more cautious.

You don’t have to ignore fear but unreasonable amount of fear will also prevent you from taking up challenges that are required for growth. Accept this feeling and prepare for the steps you need to take to deal with this situation effectively. Have faith and remember as Tony Robbins says “Most fears in life rarely come to fruition”.

2. Anger

Anger is a completely normal human emotion of annoyance or displeasure that is used as a protective mechanism to cover up fear or sadness. From a lower intensity irritation it may be as intense as rage. If fear would make a danger seem bigger than it actually is, anger does the opposite. It will make danger smaller and actions less risky and may lead to reckless behaviors.

You get angry when you want to stop the threatening behavior from outside or feel that your rules or standards are not being followed by others. By being angry you want to communicate to others about this violation and this aggression may at times be helpful if others have knowingly done the wrongs.

But you need to remember uncontrolled anger negatively affects the personal and social equations. You need to understand that what is violation of your personal standards could be perfectly normal for the other person or they might not have done it deliberately. Try to convey your feelings calmly and may be many would understand your view.

3. Frustration

Frustration is the feeling of being upset due to various roadblocks and difficulties in life. When we are unable to change or achieve something, circumstances that keep us away from our success despite our continuous efforts tend to make us frustrated.

Frustration is simply a more intense negative emotion than dissatisfaction which is very much required for personal growth. If we are complacent and satisfied about our current position in life then it will be a deterrent to improvements and growth.

When frustrated realize that this feeling is indicating to you that you need to change your ways to get results. Brainstorm, change your approach and take help of others who have already achieved what you want to achieve. Many a time we just need to step back and see all the possibilities from a different perspective  and we will be able to find solution to our challenges.

4. Sadness

At some point of time in our lives, we all experience the feeling of sadness. Failures, pain, disappointments and losses, all make us sad. Feeling of sadness tells us that what we were really going after will probably be never achieved, and now it is a time that we changed our goals. In such situations you need to keep in mind that if something is delayed, it doesn’t mean that it is denied.

Sadness is an important emotion that reminds us what matters to us. We realize the value of our goal and the pain that is associated when it is not fulfilled. We need to learn from the situation, chart a new route to achieve our goal or may be set an all-together new and higher goal.

A very big warning bell that is needed to be sounded out here is to differentiate sadness and depression. Depression is the most severe stage of sadness with associated feeling of being helpless and with nothing to look forward in life.

5. Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the worst negative feelings. This is the feeling that makes you feel alone and separate from others. It indicates that nobody cares for you. Loneliness is worst than severe poverty. You probably are missing your friends and have no company to share your achievements with.

Just change your thought pattern and see that there are caring people all around. Think carefully whether you are alone or lonely. Simplest steps that you can take to change your status is that you need to open up, reach out and connect with others around you.

At last we need to remember that all emotions are normal, healthy and required. These negative emotions make us more alive and make all our relations, achievements and possessions valuable. To deal with such negative emotions, it is required that we lower their intensity. Start thinking, ‘it’s just that you are in a state of bad mood and that these feelings are temporary’. To correct bad mood see: 8 Ways to improve your Mood

Offer your brain empowering messages about your emotions and change yourself. Start accepting your emotions consciously and realize that it is not very desirable to contradict any feelings. Remember when you suppress your negative emotions you lose the appreciation of your emotions of love, passion or desire. You need to value these so called negative feelings and at the same time not to dwell on them and feel victimized.

Finally keep in mind that emotions are like waves, they come and go back. Keep a check on them and they will provide beauty and meaning to life but if left unchecked they can be destructive. In the end YOU ARE THE MASTER.

Also read: 9 Most Powerful Positive Emotions

9 Most Powerful Positive Emotions

positive-emotions

“Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.” – Sigmund Freud

Emotions are the chief driver of our reactions and relations with others as well as ourselves. They decide our behavior in general, how we conduct ourselves. Apart from causing the obvious psychological changes, emotions also have their physical component and we experience the surge in energy or loss of it in accordance to our emotional state. Emotions are both positive as well as negative. We discuss here some of the most powerful positive emotions which we humans express in our life:

1. Gratitude

Gratitude is the most powerful positive emotion for me. It is the emotion of thankfulness and appreciation for someone or something. The focus is on the positive of what we have rather than what is lacking. It has been proven that this attitude of appreciation is associated with higher level of well being in individuals. People who practice gratitude are usually happier, less stressed and much more satisfied in life. Grateful people are more compassionate, feel alive and sleep better as they think less of negatives.

2. Serenity

Calmness of mind and to be peaceful in all ways with your current situation is the biggest wisdom. Serenity is the emotion when one’s mind is completely tranquil and you are at peace with yourself. It is when you understand that everything will just turn out right, you have no cause of worry and relax. Having serenity in life is much more important than just seeking money. Serene clarity and peace of mind are our biggest blessings.

3. Joy

Joy is a common term used for various feelings of pleasure and happiness from mild to intense bliss. Because of delightful and cherished experiences, we have a feeling of contentment and well being. A joyous person feel light and vibrant. Emotion of joy dominate when we achieve our goals or look forward to something which has a desirable outcome. This powerful emotion fills us with boundless energy to continue making progress in life with a bigger purpose. Happiness is related more to the action part.

4. Interest

Interest is a feeling which is directly related to curiosity. We become interested in something or someone when we develop a fascination for it and want to have or feel new experiences. This is the emotion which makes people do what they do. In order to meet some of our needs or to achieve some goals we develop interest in uncovering or discovering some fascinating things. Knowledge seeking and learning are possible only because of interest.

5. Hope

Hope is the feeling of optimism where we look forward into future with great expectation that good things are in store for us. It is an emotion which makes us believe that whatever our current circumstances or problems are, they are not permanent and we enjoy anticipatory happiness. Hope is born out of our imagination often when we are troubled by some crisis. It makes us to expect new solutions and possibilities. Single emotion of hope is the perfect antidote to many negative emotions like fear, sadness and despair.

6. Pride

Pride is an emotion with a dual face to it. It can be negative or positive. Our responsibility is to control the feeling of pride with negative connotation like arrogance or unrealistic self esteem. Whereas pride in the positive sense means taking pleasure in one’s work or their team’s accomplishments. It is an important emotion that makes us feel dignified. To have a sense of purpose in achievements and success increases confidence. One should feel proud of himself on having an expression of competence but only after due self reflection.

7. Inspiration

Inspiration is usually an emotion which comes from witnessing moments of true human excellence. It motivates us to pursue something despite obstacles. Inspiration comes from experiencing something of extraordinary ability or competence and can lead to major life change. When we are inspired, we see possibilities beyond our imagined capabilities thereby developing interest, which is a starting point for creativity and learning.

8. Love

Love is a feeling of strong attachment and affection towards others. Love could be deep bonding between friends and family members or could be feeling of romance between couples. Another type of love is the one for the country but whatever type of love we are in, the purest is the unconditional love where one is totally committed towards other but do not desire anything in return. For some love is like a drive where the goal is to get the attention of others and to win them over but then that will be more of infatuation than love.

Love is the greatest virtue that encompasses all the above emotions with compassion, kindness and unselfish loyalty towards others as well as towards one’s self.

9. Altruism

It is the feeling of disinterested and selfless concern for the others. Altruism is to work for the welfare of others with whom one does not have any relation except for the common feeling of love for humanity. An altruist will be happy helping absolute strangers just like he will help anyone else who is known to him. The feeling of fulfillment and purpose is realized when one makes effort to do something for others without any expectation of reciprocity.

In addition to these we experience a wide range of positive emotions like amusement, awe, desire, empathy and euphoria everyday. Even the negative emotions have their own significance that they act as a survival mechanism for us. In the face of grave danger the feeling of fear makes it possible for one to see the light of another day. Our emotion of aggression has been instrumental in pushing us up the food chain and come up as a superior species.

Positive emotions on the other hand are the driving force that have shaped our world. The development of society and relations would not have been possible without these. Our state of mind dictates what we do. To reach our goals and connect to bigger self, we need to be open minded and try to be carrying the best of these positive emotions through our life.

Related article: 7 Essentials of a Happy Life