Being likable is under your control and it can be cultivated by following some simple guidelines. To develop instant rapport and to be liked it requires that you develop some good conversation skills. Different people may have different approach towards this but there are a few common and general steps that you need to master to make people like you instantly. These are some basic ideas to be followed and mistakes to be avoided to boost your chances of making rapport with people.

Genuine Smile

I mean no other thing will help you to develop rapport then a Genuine Smile. Everyone likes a person who radiates positive vibes and warmth. When you smile genuinely the muscle around your eyes are engaged and there is a noticeable change in them. This is not possible when your smile is fake. People respond faster to a person whom they find trust worthy and a warm smile does just that.

Be conscious about your body language like making eye contact, it indicates your interest in them. Whereas negative body language like crossing your arms at chest indicating your boredom are to be strictly avoided.

Reflecting or Paraphrasing

Repeat something they say rather then just nodding. When you reflect on what the other person has said, it helps you to get better clarity on the topic so you can answer well. At the same time you come across as more authentic and serious person to them. You are telling them that not only you are hearing them but also understand their feelings and emotions. Also bear in mind that you can also reflect a person in his body language, for example give him a hand shake like he has or may be casually adopt the seating posture or hand positioning like him.

Affirmation

Affirmation and to say yes as you start your reply is an immediate rapport builder because ‘yes’ opens up trust and creativity. If you start with a yes, you are more likely to get a yes back but if you start with a no, you shut down the collaboration and responsiveness of other person.

Start with yes even when you differ on something and then correct them with a smile and other body language. There is a hell of difference when you say no with a serious and tight face and when you say no with a warm smile. Other body language principles like may be touching someone when you differ may make your ‘no’ more palatable to others.

Active Listening

Active listening is you conveying to the other person that you are understanding completely. Listen with a squint, smirk or a smile and you change the whole chemistry between you two. While listening keep open palm position facing upward, which indicate openness and honesty and help to build trust. Nodding when listening straight away gives the other person confidence that you are in agreement with them. Active listening builds rapport, understanding and trust.

Intensity while speaking

Your use of punctuation and emphasis with body language show the intensity you are putting in your conversation. People like to connect with those who packs intensity in their work. It convey to them that you are really passionate about the things being discussed and value this engagement. Just think what will be your reaction if you come across someone who is speaking in a monotonous tone without any warmth and conviction. If you don’t like such people then be careful don’t be like them. Don’t stammer and don’t use many ‘Ahs’ and ‘Ums’. These are signs of nervousness.

Talk Win-Win

Another step in developing rapport with someone is to talk win-win. Try to go deep in conversation and get to know their interests and what they might be looking to achieve. Talk from the other person’s perspective and lead the conversation so that you come to a common ground and the situation becomes beneficial to both of you. When you talk in this manner the other person finds it is easy to trust you.

You will get visible sign of people getting in rapport with you when you find them start mimicking you and getting animated.

“First impression is the last impression,” goes an old saying and it is true to the core. Many people think that some people are born good communicators but they need to realize that they also can learn all these skills and practicing these over a period of time will go a long way in they becoming able to strike a rapport with others in a jiffy.

Related Article: 5 Keys for Effective Communication